


It's Supernatural, Extraterrestrial

by ghostboi



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, Alternate Universe - Fans & Fandom, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, First Kiss, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Nonsense, Prompt Fic, Protective Jensen, Tumblr, i'm sorry i'm so sorry, jared's hair, mentions of kermit & miss piggy, so much crack, so much wtf, take it with a grain of salt (because it needs to be salted & burned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:26:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4988350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostboi/pseuds/ghostboi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[prompt: "fangirls from another planet (let’s call it Fandonia!) get their hands on J2."]<br/>The far-reaching Love Story of Sam & Dean grabs the attention of some real big fans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Supernatural, Extraterrestrial

**Author's Note:**

> [prompt: "fangirls from another planet (let’s call it Fandonia!) get their hands on J2. End it with something like "Sometimes fan-girls are crazy." :D :D :D"]
> 
> I don't knowwww. Gavin & Beth gave me a prompt and, in my attempt to fill it, this mess crawled out of my head.  
> I love you all. Don't beat me. 
> 
> [title from Katy Perry's "E.T."]

“What hit me? Where are we?” 

Jensen Ackles opened his eyes – he was lying on his back - as he heard his best friend and co-star groan out the questions. He raised a hand to shield them from the bright lights, his green gaze flicking to Jared Padalecki. The bigger man was sitting up next to him, a bewildered expression on his face.

“Looks like we’re still on set,” he glanced around the set, taking in the set-up scenery for of the Bunker. 

“Yeah,” Jared glanced around, “but what happened?”

Both men looked to their left, startled, as they heard a voice,  
“Perhaps I can answer that.” 

A figure was approaching them; as it drew nearer, they saw that it was a woman. She was wearing a long, tan trench coat over a suit and tie, and her long, dark hair was in a braid. The outfit very much resembled Misha Collins’ character of Castiel from Supernatural. Two other women were trailing behind her: the men didn’t miss the fact that one was dressed very similarly to Jensen’s character of Dean Winchester, and the other was dressed like Sam Winchester. 

The three women halted in front of the men, who scrambled to their feet. Jared and Jensen exchanged a glance – neither recognized the trio. 

“We are travelers,” the Castiel copycat spoke upon reaching them, “Not of your world.”

“Excuse me?” Jensen raised a brow at the woman, “Let me guess.. you’re an angel?” Jared snorted softly beside him – it wouldn’t be the first time they had come across overzealous cosplayers. 

The woman smiled at him and shook her head. “We know what you’re thinking,” she seemed to be speaking for her companions, as they nodded at the words, “but my words are truth. We’re from a planet called Fandonia. We’re an advanced civilization on a planet hidden in a realm behind your Mars. In many ways, we mirror your civilization and we’re connected to your world. While we use several sources of energies and lights as fuels, our strongest and most prevalent is excess energy created from the love and devotion of the One True Pairings.”

Jensen and Jared exchanged another glance, this one uneasy, as the Sam and Dean copies repeated, voices barely more than a whisper, “One True Pairings.” 

“I get it,” Jensen spoke suddenly, turning to look around the set, “This is a prank, right? Jim? Robert? Good one, guys, real funny. Ha ha. Clif?” 

His gaze focused on the femme Castiel copy as she spoke again, “It is not a prank. We come to you for help.”

Jared shook his head and attempted to move off-set, “This is crazy –“ His words were cut off abruptly as he slammed to a halt. He raised panicked, hazel eyes to Jensen.  
“Jay? What’s wrong?”  
“I – I can’t move,” Jared raised his hands, waving them in the air in front of him, “It’s – something’s – I can’t move!”  
“What the hell do you mean, you can’t move?” 

Both men turned their eyes to the trio again as the woman whom was obviously in charge – the Castiel wannabe – spoke again, “Forgive me, Jared Padalecki. It is not our wish to cause harm to either of you, but we cannot allow you to leave yet.” She waved her hand, and Jared stumbled forward slightly. He stared at her for several seconds, eyes wide, before moving back to Jensen’s side. 

If he stood a bit closer than usual, Jensen didn’t comment on it. 

“What the hell is going on here?” Jared demanded, raising a hand to shove his longish hair out of his face. He blinked, startled, as the two women behind the Cas copy sighed simultaneously, their eyes on him and peculiarly pleased expressions on their faces. He out-and-out flushed in embarrassment as both women murmured, almost reverently, “The Hair of the Padalecki.”

“This is getting weird,” Jensen stared at the sighing women, brows furrowed in confusion.  
“What do you mean, getting weird? This is already weird!” Jared retorted, stepping almost behind his friend as the women continued staring at his.. hair. 

Both men turned their eyes to the Cas copy as she began to speak again,  
“For years, our planet has been sustained by many pairings, the primary being the ethereal excess energy from the Kermit-Piggy OTP. They have split now, however, which leaves us in need of a new energy source. The residual energy from Kermit-Piggy will sustain us for several years yet, but we wish to gather and store a supply that will continue to sustain us.”

“I think this joke has gone on long enough,” Jared muttered, still hiding behind Jensen, even though he was too tall and the women could still stare at his hair.

Cas copy shook her head, “It is only the truth, and we require your assistance, J2. We discussed for many days whether it would be the Destiel OTP or the Sam and Dean OTP which would restore our energies. It was close, but the relationship between the Winchesters has been known to transverse Hell and Heaven, death and life. Love and hatred, despair and hope.”

They could almost hear her speaking in caps as she added, “The Epic Love Story of Sam and Dean Winchester will restore our world’s depleting energy and assure it’s continuation.”

“Even if this was true,” Jensen ran a hand through his short hair – he fidgeted uneasily as the women locked their eyes on him, watching his every move, “And there is no way this is true, those are characters we play. In a television program. You have television on your planet, lady? It’s fiction!”

“Fiction, yes,” Cas-girl smiled at him again, “but with enough devotion and love and energy within it to sustain many worlds like our own. Your fanbase is very devoted. We suspected it would be: it’s one of the reasons we sent one of our Fandonians here, years ago, to create Tumblr.”

“You’re bat-shit crazy,” Jensen stared at her like she was, well, bat-shit crazy. “Security! Where the hell is Clif?”

Another smile as the woman told him, “Your companions and friends are home and resting. Their day has ended and we gave them a projection of you both, leaving and arriving safely to your homes. It is only us here, now.”

Jensen and Jared both jumped slightly, startled, as she suddenly clapped her hands together and grinned.

“Now. Sam and Dean will discover their love for one another, we will film it, and the energies from your fan-base will reach our world and sustain our people. The new fan-fiction alone will be enough to revive depleted sources for years to come!”

“Sam and Dean aren’t doing shit,” Jared told the woman, his large fist clenched, “and we’re not, either. We’re getting the hell out of here and you’re going to stay away from us.” Both men turned to leave, but found that they couldn’t move from their spots. Panicked glances were exchanged and Jensen let loose a string of curses. 

“You can do it willingly,” copy-Cas said with a calm smile, “Or we can possess your forms and do it in your places, much like the demons in your show.” 

“That’s not possible.”

Both men stared in disbelief (and probably a bit of fear) as three pairs of staring eyes suddenly turned black. 

“Sam and Dean will do as we bid,” copy-Cas repeated, “or we will possess your forms and do it in your places. Then we will kill Sam as punishment. Jared will die as well, of course. It is his body.”

“What?” Jared’s brows shot up at the threat, “Wait – what?” 

“Where the hell did those come from?” Jensen demanded as he spotted the bladed weapons the three women were suddenly holding. They looked like swords but were split down the center, giving them the appearance of double-bladed weapons, “And you’re not touching Sam _or_ Jared, you crazy bitch!”

All three women sighed, pleased smiles on their faces, at Jensen’s declaration and the note of protectiveness in his voice. 

“If you wish to save your Sammy/Jared –“ (Jensen would swear he could _hear_ the slash between the two names) “- you will comply. Once you have done as we requested, you will both be set free.” 

“Piss off,” Jared growled, angry now at the entire situation. The fact that he couldn’t move wasn’t helping his temper. 

The women raised their bladed weapons and moved toward him: they halted as Jensen cried, “Wait! Okay! We’ll do it, just leave him alone!”

Another simultaneous sigh from the women (and wasn’t that getting extremely creepy?) and they lowered their blades. Copy-Cas waved her hand and both men found that they could move again.

“Let’s get busy,” the woman in the trench coat suggested with a grin.

 

Ten minutes later, Jensen and Jared found themselves on a bedroom set of Dean’s bedroom in the Bunker. They weren’t certain how they had even come to be on this set; the woman had clapped her hands twice and their surroundings and instantly.. changed. It was too much like the angels and demons on their show, and both men were more than a little freaked out.

“What the hell is going on?” Jared whispered from his spot on the bed, where Cas-girl had instructed him to sit, “Is this - ? This can’t be real, can it?” 

“I don’t know,” Jensen ran his hand through his hair – he rolled his eyes as they heard sighs from off-set, where the cameras were waiting to start rolling – “but let’s just – damn. Let’s just do it and get it over with so they’ll go the hell away.”

Jared nodded, eyes flicking to the women standing near the cameras. “Do you think they’re serious? About that threat?” 

“The hell if I’m going to take any chances. Hell if they’re going to lay a damn finger on you,” Jensen sounded so much like Dean in that moment that Jared swallowed hard, the Sam persona rising fast to the surface of his being.

“Ready?”

Jensen shot an annoyed look at copy-Cas and reminded her, “We don’t have a script. What the hell are we supposed to do?” 

“Lean in and cup his face in your hand,” Cas girl smiled at him, and he wanted to growl, “Make it up as you go along, but remember that you’re fulfilling the fandom’s desire to see this One True Pairing happen. You’ll know what to do. Now.. action!”

Jensen rolled his eyes and hoped the camera with its blinking red light that indicated it was recording caught it. He turned to look at Jared, sitting on the bed, and found the other man staring at him, hazel eyes wide. He looked scared, and Jensen’s inner Dean rose fully to the surface. He crossed to the bed in two strides and halted before the other man, whom raised uncertain eyes to him. 

“S’okay,” it was Dean now, who reached out and cupped the other’s face in his hand, voice soothing. He brushed his thumb along the other man’s cheekbone, beneath his eye, “It’s okay, Sammy. I’ve got you.” 

“Dean..” Sam’s (because it was Sam sitting there now, staring up at his big brother) voice was a whisper, hesitant and shaky, “What - ?”

“Ssh.” 

Sam fell silent as the soft instruction, and Dean brushed a thumb across his mouth, a barely-there caress that sent a noticeable shiver through the other man. He raised his other hand and carded his fingers through long hair, catching hold of it and pulling Sam to him.

“I’ve got you, baby boy.”

Sam’s lips parted in a soft gasp, and Dean leaned in to brush their mouths together. The soft moan from the younger man surprised him but he didn’t pull back; instead, he began to explore more thoroughly, licking into Sam’s mouth. He shifted forward slightly, slotting his leg between the other’s thighs and sliding a hand down the man’s back. Dean let out a low growl of pleasure as Sam reached up to brush fingers up his chest, thumb tracing over a nipple through his shirt. 

They parted after several long moments, both panting slightly, eyes locked on one another.

“Oh,” copy-Cas smiled, clasping her hands together, “That kiss alone will keep us in energy for a very long time.” She practically squealed in glee as she told her companions, “Imagine what the porn scenes will do!”

Jensen/Dean shook his head, then rested his forehead against Jared/Sam’s. The two locked gazes again, an unspoken message passing between them in their heated looks:

Sometimes fan-girls, of any species and from any planet, were crazy.


End file.
